Although every bit true, i can't take credit for this page. This page is an accumulation of comments made by my friends so that I could stick something here. Turned out pretty cool.
Thanks friends!
First and foremost, eventhough I'm an esteemd writer in a breathtaking "bean counter's" body, I can't spell. I also abstain from eating all meat and animal flesh with the exception of fish (definition of "pescatarian"). Maybe this is a stepping stone to full veg or just maybe i'll stop this crap and have a 5 guys and fries burger!
I was born in Owensboro, KY with ADHD and have never grown out of it. It's a debilitating disease that haunts me to this day. Having came from such great stock, my mother was the first triathlete in our family. She turned Pro in 1980, well before anyone had every really heard of triathlon, in order to keep up with me. She’s maintained her elite status as an endurance athlete ever since.
Growing up in the small town of Beaver Dam, KY, I quickly become addicted to bikes. When I was 8 yrs old, I tried to go fast enough on my bike to jump a fire hydrant... It wasn't pretty. Maybe I should try again my my Tri Bike. My experience with swimming, on the other hand, was very different. Swimming was associated with fear. Boating trips as a small child included me being pulled at what felt like 60mph across KY Lake on an inflatable raft, screaming at the top of my lungs all the way (much like swim workouts now). May parents were gonna scare swimming into me one way or another. I still can’t swim that well. As I matured into a young adult, I developed a fear of Indians; mainly the statue of one that stood in my granny's house. They could place this in the doorway of a room they wanted to lock me in and I wouldn’t walk past it. Then, on a trip to Gatlinburg, a real Indian flipped me off as I took his picture of him. I guess I’ll never get along with our native Americans.
Throughout high school (Ohio County High School), I became known as a hard worker, loyal, and fun to be around. I was also known for having the coolest car horn in town and I was a big pimp on the trombone. Nothing says stud like a big brass trigger trombone.
While spending my college years at Murray State University, I was always a team player. As Wayne Hamaker would say, "always the first to accidently drop the soap on purpose." I somehow got in with the smart crowd... about as killer as my mad marching band skills. These guys remain my friends to this day. One moved to Alaska to stalk Sara Palin and has since had a baby. I love these guys.
I wasn't ever really athletic from an endurance standpoint. In fact, I tried running with my dad a few times, I couldn't make it a block... after a summer of trying, I might have made it two blocks at a time. We decided I wasn't a runner; I was a weight lifter. I've since gone from a stunning "210lb Body Builder" to a 150lb ultra runner and Ironman finisher. Am I a runner now?
My first job out of college was at Ernst and Young where I admitted to a Tina Turner addiction during a career-breakthrough karaoke performance with Scott Duello in Tupelo Mississippi. I was a private dancer that night (not a private auditor). I've since moved to Vanderbilt University to work for the Vice Chancellor of Reconciliations and Email Traffic. I became known for my incredible 10-key moves, went by the nickname JonathOn, and was told I look super sexy in red shirts. I am currently at the Medical Center. No, I haven't been admitted to the psychiatric hospital; I work in the actual finance department.
Somewhere along the way, I became a very amateur triathlete on the Trace Bike Race Team. Yes, it takes me 30 mins to shave my brawny strapping legs. You have to take extra care during the process so they turn out smooth and shinny. Plus they're so huge and powerful. I've manage to meet some really fast friends who made me not so weak. I also discovered a secret potty place at the turnaround tree on my brick run course. Nothing like having a middle-aged man taking a dump in the perfectly placed root system of the big oak tree in your front yard. On this same topic, there's nothing like an intense team time trial to really make for a good time; especially if it’s followed up by some partner yoga and a trip to Pink Berry with Jeff Davis!
I am dedicated and always make people laugh. I really enjoy home projects and can accomplish nearly anything that I set my mind to. You could say that i'm a natural born baddass at everything. I also love late night snacks consisting of anything easily accessible from the kitchen (such as an entire jar of peanut butter, entire box of cereal, entire tub of ice cream, or large quantities of cookies at 3 a.m). I love taking naps with my two fur children, Alex & Cozmo!
Ok, some serious shiz…. I’m 100% positive that I couldn’t do all the stuff I do without my family, my IronFamily, and the friends who I feel like all sacrifice a lot so that I can do this. Ironman isn’t about the race, it’s about the journey. I’m not smart because I just typed that; pretty sure it’s been said several million times. But seriously, this sport has allowed me to meet so many incredible (crazy and insane, too) people; I’ve made so many friends and built so many relationships that I wouldn’t have otherwise. I’m not addicted to the sport. I’m not addicted to the training. I’m addicted to all the people I’ve been lucky enough to be surrounded by and who support me in whatever I come up with next.
